Kindness

“Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight: always try to be a little kinder than is necessary?” J. M. Barrie, the Scottish author of Peter Pan, wrote this quote in the 1902 novel, The Little White Bird.

Kindness. Is it innate or learned? Many experts say both, including researchers, psychologists, and social scientists. Neuroscientists have found that the brain has neural networks with hormonal receptors of oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin associated with niceness. People are predisposed to genes and hormones that nudge toward compassion and experiences that nurture and increase acts of kindness.

Growing up in the 1950s through the 80s, many children, including me, faithfully watched Captain Kangaroo on television. For twenty-nine years, Bob Keeshan guided his young viewers through book adventures, a loyal friendship with Mr. Green Jeans, and love and care for animals. Not long after, another TV show, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, inspired children to explore feelings, relationships, and new experiences with wonder. Frequently consulting a psychologist on child development, Fred Rogers focused on children’s real concerns and feelings. Never preachy and always with a soft, calm gentleness, both men invited many young minds to learn in a safe, warm and slow-paced environment.

Peggy Noonan, a current columnist for the Wall Street Journal and former speechwriter for George H. W. Bush’s presidential campaign, coined the phrase “a kinder and gentler nation” and “A Thousand Points of Light” for his 1989 Inaugural Address. Those phrases referred to community organizations whose outreach services of good deeds spread like shining stars nationwide.

These messages seem outdated by current standards. What happened? How did society go astray?  A number of children feel isolated and lack face-to-face communication skills. Could phone texting and social media be contributing culprits for today’s anxious teenagers? While some are joining school clubs, playing team sports, and connecting through similar interests, others are not engaged and do not have good coping skills. They need good sleep, nutrition, exercise, and positive self-care to give and receive kindness.  Mental health is a big concern. Connection, coping skills, calmness, care, and compassion must become a priority for children and adults to protect their well-being.

Brash, bold bullies in schools, the public, and the media with no accountability appear commonplace with name-calling and belittlement. It’s easy for them to hide behind a computer screen or smartphone. Civility and manners have gone by the wayside. Often, bullies do not address the issue or differences of opinion but attack the person. People who complain and cause problems tend to get their wanted attention, or as the saying goes, “the squeaky wheel gets the grease.” Enough is enough.

Thankfully, a “kindness movement” is peeking around the corner. Steve Hartman, a caring role model, is championing this movement. Google him or Kindness 101.  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJzm9BhU_wL9co3T1JYzfld3xtL3_kKnA   Through short videos, he showcases a model for caring in our society. Assembled episodes on CBS and YouTube are available to teachers, parents, and grandparents to teach this goodness. Just what our hearts need right now! Thanks, Steve, for being the next Captain Kangaroo or Mister Rogers! So, whether kindness is an instinct or learned through experience, let’s get on board and shine our thousand points of light.

 Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…