Sunday Dinner
“Come over for dinner next Sunday” is the opening line for a cornucopia of entertainment, food, and heart-to-hearts. It is the beginning of a plan, starting with the menu, cleaning, and shopping. The people make the party, so more invitations should be offered. The right mix of people fills the room with great conversations. I am not opposed to discussing politics or religion, but these topics rarely rise to the top. There is too much else to discuss that matters more - kids, grandkids, vacations, or new opportunities ahead.
I grew up having Sunday dinners with family every week. We were usually at my maternal Grandma’s with cousins, aunts, and uncles. Once a month, Mom hosted Dad’s family - Sunday dinner at our house with a different set of cousins, aunts, and uncles. As with many things, I assumed everyone had this ritual. I was so disappointed when the truth came out! Everyone did not eat spaghetti on Sundays. What?
As an adult married woman, I wanted to continue this tradition. I could go on and on about the first twenty years of trials and errors; trust me, there were too many! Eventually, I got the hang of it and was no longer intimidated by the thought of twelve guests waiting for dinner. I love having friends, as well as family for dinner. Sunday dinner is not always Sunday, nor does it happen every week; just dinner with good company, whenever. I usually serve spaghetti but enjoy trying new dishes, too.
There are some nuances to learn when calling “Come Over for Sunday Dinner.” Breaking bread with friends is different than with family. Having our kids or siblings over is easier because they are more forgiving. If the sauce isn’t perfect or there’s dust on the coffee table, my family doesn’t notice. Family, especially the retired siblings, are very available with little notice. The grown children are saddled with teenage schedules, soccer games, and work obligations, making them less spontaneous. More advanced notice is needed for this to be successful. But friends will open their calendars and settle on a date after a few text messages. Whether book club, neighbors, or life-long friends most are usually willing to answer the call for a good meal.
Having company creates many feelings for me as the host. There is anticipation, a joy in cooking, then anxiety the last thirty minutes before the guests arrive! A seasoned host knows to serve a meal that doesn’t have last-minute prep, but I always have unexpected bloopers that require a fix. The scorched gravy can never be undone. Water spilled on the symmetrically arranged cheese appetizer platter changes the first course to popcorn! My realization of the near-empty, dark blue bottle means there will be no vodka tonics served with the popcorn. Red wine or beer, anyone?
Even with all the angst, when friends and family arrive and laughter fills the room, it is worth every bit of preparation. Sharing stories, from happy to terrifying, brings people together. When we compare experiences with others, we realize the common understanding of a particular joy or sadness because they, too, have gone through similar times. This commonality gives the sense of support and comfort that makes the evening memorable. Food enjoyed and complimented, toasts made for special events, and dishes cleared for games played in fun competitions, all add to the purpose of the initial “Come over for dinner Sunday night.”
After the guests leave, I feel new emotions of satisfaction and happiness. I giggle while washing the pans, remembering a funny joke someone related. I offer a little prayer of comfort for the guest who shared a problem. When the last wine glass is dried and put away, the hum of the dishwasher relaxes me, and it’s time to wind down. Recalling the shared comradery refreshes the spirit of friendship and motivates the next invitation.
It seems that these types of gatherings are occurring less frequently in our society. I wonder why. Are cooking shows setting the bar so high that no one wants to compete? Did Martha Stewart say something that scared all the would-be hosts? Or do restaurants make eating together easier and faster? “Come over for Sunday dinner” lends itself to meaningful and long conversations and, hopefully, a good meal!
Does your family enjoy a similar ritual? Who will you invite to dinner?
Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…