That Age-Old Feeling
The first time I felt old, I really wasn't. At a friend's home, their dad mentioned: “As I Lay Dying.” I said I loved Faulkner's novel, though it had been decades since I read it. He smirked, and his kids giggled. Their mom clarified “As I Lay Dying” was a band. I'd heard of the band but didn't connect it to the conversation. The dad's reaction made me feel foolish. That moment stuck with me for years, highlighting how dismissing generational differences can sting.
Occasionally, I have witnessed younger people poking fun at a parent or older person because they did not know about something that was apparent to them. The comments were likely meant to be funny, not malicious, but I wondered if the recipient felt hurt or embarrassed. Often, it's a mispronounced or misunderstood word or its meaning. Or an acronym used in texting; other times, it's about the latest actor, song, or movie. Experiences like these make me wonder: whatever happened to respecting your elders or just plain good manners? And what about meeting people where they are with no judgments or expectations?
At 70, I admit I am not current with all the nuances of pop culture, but I do my best to keep up with technology, trends, and the news. However, kindly point out the error or let it go. Many things have baffled me as I age, yet I try to go with the flow and avoid being judgmental.
Reflecting on my own family, my siblings and I were amused at our parents' inability to figure out the remote or a new cell phone. We always ended our conversations with, "That will be us one of these days." Yet, we never said anything in their presence; instead, we patiently helped them figure it out. And, quite honestly, they were keeping up and doing much better than many of their peers.
I remember my parents would occasionally use a word acceptable in their generation but now considered offensive. And we would gently let them know we no longer use that word. I would never intentionally offend, humiliate, or embarrass anyone because they used terms considered offensive by today’s standards. Often, words that were used at another time in our culture are now considered politically incorrect.
Not every senior needs or wants to stay current with the trends. There seems to be increasing societal pressure to stay “forever young.” We can be as relevant as we want without the help of social media and movies that demean the dignity of older adults. It’s okay to move through life not knowing what LOL means or what a rap song's lyrics are all about.
When I think back on the conversation about Faulkner’s novel, “As I Lay Dying,” I am reminded that children observe how we treat our elders. They are incredibly attentive and notice how their mom and dad treat their own parents. Learned behavior is passed from one generation to the next. So, let’s set a good example, treat our parents with dignity and respect, so that our children will do the same.
Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…