Love, Marriage and the Baby Carriage
I was wondering if fewer young adults were getting married and having babies, so I intentionally started to investigate for proof against what I consider a sadness. My first disproof came on a visit to the farmers' market. My heart was filled with joy as I encountered a splash pad bubbling with laughter and fun from three-year-olds and their moms and dads. I counted the young families and cheerfully watched the evidence of Love. The first entry into my field journal.
However, I looked for research data and discovered that the notion of fewer marriages and fewer babies is not a misconception. In 2023, the U.S. birth rate continued its forty-year decline, falling by 2% compared to 2022. In 2024, U.S. adults were less likely to be married than at almost any other point since the Census Bureau started tracking the information in 1940. According to the European Commission, coupling is down everywhere, not just in the USA.
Experts point to many contributing factors to this trend. Lynn Stone, a researcher for the Institute for Family Studies, points to the economic factor. Besides love and companionship, many women in the past decades married for monetary stability, but as women charge into the workforce with their college degrees, that factor diminishes. Marriage is declining as young women seek independence over codependency. (Now I’m not saying this is a bad thing, calm down. I love and respect an independent person.) We all know women, including ourselves, who have attended college, married, and had babies with grace.
Many families have experienced the adverse effects of economic stress from student debt. College graduates live with their parents at a higher rate than previously. According to a 2025 Sallie Mae survey, 64% of graduates from 2023 and 2024 still live with their parents. This lifestyle adds to the delay in marriage and the postponement of starting a family. Maybe that’s what I am seeing more, just a delay in marriage and babies. I personally hope so as I enter that data into my field journal.
Another factor hindering marriage is the social isolation in our younger adults, as found in a 2023 article in The Interactive Journal of Medicine. This loneliness can lead to romantic isolation. Lack of personal, real friendships prevents the development of the social skills needed to figure out lifelong commitments. Dating among teens has gone down dramatically since my day. Are teens so vulnerable these days that the fear of rejection keeps them from the rewards of gaining a bit of autonomy from parents? The trial and error of closeness is sometimes amazing and sometimes heartbreaking, but it can teach them relationship skills. I make a note of this seclusion piece, which worries me!
Lisa Phillips, a journalist who teaches a course called “Love and Heartbreak” at SUNY New Paltz, states that students don’t believe in over-idealizing partnerships like the rom-com clichés and the Disney prince and princess relationships. She responds, “That’s fine, but people have been falling for someone special for all of time.” She also tells her students that ’ falling’ is overwhelming and can feel transcendent. The students are skeptical!
University of Chicago economist Sam Peltzman looked at data from the General Social Survey 2024 (a long-running, nationally representative study of adults in the United States conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago) and concluded that marriage was more correlated with ‘self-described life satisfaction’ than any other variable he considered, including money. It should also be noted that happy people tend to marry more often. I am here to verify that having a committed, lifelong spouse definitely increases my life satisfaction. How can I enter this in my notebook of facts? Unscientific, I suppose.
Finding the right partner is hard, but comparing real-life humans to fake idols from social platforms makes the effort seem impossible. No one is that smart, that beautiful, and that successful. And yes, it’s expensive to raise a family, but not as expensive as the media portrays it to be. I remember my Dad telling us that Love doesn’t pay the rent. Those were his words; his actions were hard work to provide for his family, and a kiss for Mom every night! That’s Amore! That’s my kind of idol!
In all of this, I find one central element missing—Love! In my life, with my Italian upbringing and family, Love was the reason for everything! Self-giving is essential in both marriage and raising children. It’s necessary in all friendships and healthy relationships. Remember the saying, “No man is an island.” The current trend of self-autonomy leaves many things that matter behind and makes this short life less worth living.
All of these statistics could get a family-centered person like me down! But I am committed to seeking out hopeful signs. I will continue my positive, unscientific research, keeping my eyes open for any sign of Love, Marriage, and the Baby Carriage still alive in our society.
Like the announcement of my friend's ninth grandchild and a Save the Date for an upcoming winter wedding: another entry, another smile.
Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…