Erma Bombeck: The Master of Words, Wit, and Whimsy

Do you remember Erma Bombeck, the witty, wise writer of personal essays for mainstream magazines and bestselling books?  She was an inspiration for me, not only for life, but also for writing.  Her take on parenting, marriage, housework, and life in general is funny, wise and yet completely relatable.  This blog post is my gift, in way of a reminder, to you, my reader as to how truly inspirational and relevant Erma Bombeck still is today, even 30 years after her death. 

“He who laughs…lasts.”    

For instance, take the quote above.  At first, it just seems like a clever play on words.  But then, if you are an aging worrier like me, it also makes incredible sense. And it is also neurologically smart.  Again, if you are an aging worrier (no…I didn’t say an aging warrior) you have probably seen all of the articles coming out about healthy aging. One of the commonly cited findings is that worry and constant dwelling on the darker side of things is bad for your brain…thus leading to faster aging and, dare I say it, dementia.  So yes, this quote makes me laugh, but it also reminds me to not take daily life and its inevitable mistakes and occasional difficulties quite so seriously.  Yes, instead of worrying, I will follow Erma’s advice and laugh at my forgetfulness, my sore back and my growing belly rolls.  (Or at least I’ll try.) 

“When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they’re not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain.  They’re upset because they’ve gone from supervisor of a child’s life to a spectator.  It’s like being the vice president of the United States.” 

Truer words cannot be said.  Supervisor to spectator. Bombeck summed up the reality and difficulty of being a parent of adult children in a way that I didn’t fully understand until I read this. As the mother of two adult, married, self-sufficient children I should be, and I guess I am happy that I am no longer needed by my children. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.  And yet, at the same time, in a strange way, I miss being needed and more specifically being involved in their day-to-day life. Bombeck puts it perfectly.  I am merely a spectator to their lives. I’m just watching from the sidelines and even when I’m invited in for a closer look, it is only a closer look from the outside.  And yes, I know and agree that this is how it should be.  But my children will never know how much I miss them until they have adult children of their own.  I get glimpses of the best of parenting sometimes when they visit: a meaningful conversation, a call for advice or better yet just to say hi and chat. But then they go back to their own lives, to their own inner circle of their family.  

“Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket”. 

I love this one!  In other words, let them flounder on their own when they are lost or struggling with a problem.  Let them make mistakes. Leave them on their own for a while so they have a chance to figure out a way to solve that problem.  And most importantly, don’t answer their call for help until you’ve moved past the junk food aisle. 

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the 'Titanic' who waved off the dessert cart.” 

Need I say more?  This says it all! 

Look up  Erma Bombeck quotes on the internet and find some that speak to you.