The Name Game
Our book club recently read The Names by Florence Knapp. The premise is that a name given to a child at birth may have consequences; this book spans over 35 years with each of three different names telling its own story. After finishing it, I got to thinking about why a parent chooses a name and if it has any bearing on the trajectory of the child’s life.
Does a name really influence who a person becomes? Does one wilt or “rise to the occasion” when bullies try to pick on a person because of a given name? Does a name add responsibility or weight to a person’s status or character when give a III or IV following a surname?
Many years ago, I asked my mom where my name, Barbara, came from. She jokingly said, “Your dad picked it after an old girlfriend.” We both laughed, but I never delved further. My mother was named after her aunt, and my brother is named after our dad, although with different middle names. I gave my daughter a palindrome that I liked and was uncommon at the time. That same year, though, a movie came out with her name in the title. The best laid plan had gone awry!
Chosen names may be based on tradition and heritage. A father’s full name may be passed down to each generation’s firstborn son. The recently deceased heavyweight boxer, “Big George” Foreman, packed it in on one generation! He had five sons named George Edward Foreman, but all with their unique nicknames. Your heritage or ethnicity can also play a part in naming a child. A name might reflect Irish, African, or Italian roots. In the Jewish culture, a baby might be given a name that starts with the first letter of a deceased relative’s name. Being cyclical, names of ancestors can resurface from past popularity, such as Beatrice, Margaret, Oliver, and Charles.
Parents might focus on monograms that spell three-letter words or favor gender-neutral or uniquely spelled names. Then, there is that family with the same first-letter names—John, Janet, Jenna, Jack, and Jordan (hint: former Broncos quarterback, #7). Some parents pick names from a cherished book, author, or place. I have a friend who honored the classic novel, Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott, by naming her three daughters—Amy, Beth (Libby), and Meg; her fourth daughter would have been Jo. How many Harpers are there today because of To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee? Others might have an affinity toward nature with names like Lily, Skye, and River. Affection for locations can give rise to names like Brooklyn, Asia, and Dakota.
Besides spending an inordinate amount of angst naming humans, people adopt pet names with just as much energy and thought. In college, a few couples I knew had dogs named Jamie, Sam, and Lindsay. Believe it or not, when they married and had children, they named them after their dogs! Dog names ebb and flow as well. Currently, some popular ones are Bella, Luna, and Max. I think pet names like Spot, Blackie, and Fido are long gone, but today dog names can mirror our two-legged friends.
Many give monikers to their cars. It is not unusual, since we spend a lot of time in them and might know them better than people sometimes. For example, a red VW bug might be called an endearing Ruby. There is nothing like giving good vibes to the “person” getting us to and from our destination, right?
OK, now reality kicks in! After much time and contemplation, the perfect name has been chosen. Does it stick? Oftentimes, no. People inside or outside the family have given an anointed nickname, and this one does stick. Your Katherine becomes Kathy or Kate; Robert becomes Bobby or Bob; Richard becomes Rich or Dick. Or, the sobriquet becomes an entirely random word like Sport, Bubba, or Ace.
Confused teachers must have a heyday over the spelling and pronunciation of their class list of today’s names. Over 50 years ago, I worked in a registrar’s office and reviewed college applications from potential students. Along with co-workers, we kept a running list of applicants with the most outlandish names. To this day, the one that sticks in my mind is Marshall Mallow; poor Marsh and shame on his parents. Most people keep their names, but some legally change them to ones of their liking. I hope Marshall did!
I sympathize with celebrities who relinquish their given birth names for those that are easier to pronounce, less ethnic, more generic, and memorable. Who is Archibald Alec Leach, Henry John Deutschendorf, or Norma Jeane Mortenson? Google them.
For those who marry, does the bride take on her spouse’s surname or keep her own? Do same-gender couples pick one or hyphenate both surnames? What are the surnames of their children? At times, there can be too many choices. Even grandparents are playing the name game. The traditional Grandpa has become Pops and Papa; Grandma has names like Nana, Gigi, and Mimi. When my daughter was born, we gave my dad the name, Pop Pop; she later turned it into Poppy. A granddaughter knows best.
On a personal note, my dad’s last name was Baker. He married my mom, whose maiden name was Baker (no relation to each other). Both of their dads, my grandfathers, were named Charlie Baker! A fun family fact!
As William Shakespeare wrote in Romeo and Juliet, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Naming a child is a significant decision for a parent to make because, for most, it follows a child throughout life. But it is the development of a child’s character that is truly important. It is not the name, but who the person really is, that matters.
Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…