The What vs The Who
In a recent YouTube video, the commentator asked a very catchy question. “Are we building a resume or crafting a life?”
He went on to explain the difference: A job resume would be a list of work virtues given to a potential employer.
This is ‘The What’.
Crafting a life could be a list of moral virtues read at a Eulogy.
This is ‘The Who’.
What a person has done doesn’t equal who the person is, but there may be ways to combine the two in a well-lived life.
A job resume full of experience, skills, accomplishments, and awards lists the necessary merits leading to gainful employment. It presents what a person has done - The What. So much of a working adult's life depends on a well-written resume. The paycheck feeds, houses, clothes, and entertains the family, so it matters if one job pays more than another.
Beyond feeding and clothing, closets are overflowing, and garages hold all the toys. Honor and prestige fill the ego. Achievements and things aren’t bad in and of themselves until they outweigh or overcome the virtues that make a person who they are. After all, one only has so much time and energy to gain success before one is out of hours and determined.
Eulogy resumes, full of moral virtues, are harder to list in an organized, one-page summary of qualifications. The index varies from person to person, which makes us our unique selves - The Who. Character ethics, practiced with discipline and love, create a temperament of rectitude. Who comes to your mind when you read those words? I immediately think of parents and siblings, which leads me to believe that goodness can be taught. When parents model honesty, generosity, and gratitude, children learn; when modeled by teachers, students learn; and coworkers can influence each other.
It’s a balance and a choice to make the time and have the enthusiasm to craft a life steeped in virtue. These values need to make their way into business, education, politics, and all professions. How about prudence and temperance, words you don’t hear very often.
We can combine a Job Resume and an Eulogy Resume throughout our lives. An employee or employer who does a job with integrity and dignity is easy to spot, whether they are loading groceries, doing taxes, or checking X-rays. Ethics into actions - Who and What together.
While making the choices to gain balance between the two, the decision-making process can get muddied. Judgments from bosses or co-workers, perceptions from family members or acquaintances, can sway the exercise into gray areas. We make compromises and choices every day, from the words we use to the contracts we sign. The outcomes of these options are The What, the ethics used in these opportunities are the character, The Who.
Integrity defines something whole and undivided. But life is messy with many loose ends and missing pieces, sadness or joy, anger, and peace. We are pulled in ten different directions, told ten conflicting stories, and expected to have the ten best answers! Turning these emotions and desires into decisions doesn’t have to be a struggle if we keep in mind respect, honesty, responsibility, patience, hard work, and accountability. Our eulogy resume!
Choosing one virtue to begin each day, each meeting, or each school day centers and clarifies The Who we want to be. Being present gives value to the situation and dignity to the people in that moment. Problems abound, and sometimes we make them tighter knots than they need to be, but the unraveling can happen by holding onto just one thread of honor and pulling gently.
Wouldn’t having a “Virtue of the Week” at schools and businesses be challenging? What eulogy virtues do you value most? How’s that going for you?
Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…