How Many Summers Do We Have Left?

Lately, I have heard many parents, celebrities, and professionals discuss how they have so little time with their children before they go to college. In a very distraught voice, I overheard a young parent say, "I only have seven more summers with my child before they leave home." 

A few thoughts ran through my head upon hearing this. This child is in middle school and, in a few years, will be heading to high school. They are likely to want to spend time with their friends in the summer. I understand there will be family vacations to look forward to with your children. School sports typically end in May, while travel sports, camps, and swim clubs are just getting started. Some children attend overnight or day camps, while others visit grandparents in other states. So, how much time do you have with your children? And how much time do they want to spend with us, their parents? 

Of course, summers look different for every generation. My summers were about playing outside in the backyard with my siblings and neighborhood kids for most of the day. We rode our bikes everywhere. My mom seldom asked where I was. She was probably enjoying the quiet at home. I rarely had time alone with my parents; there were never deep conversations or oversharing. Their parenting style felt normal and was no different from my friends. My parents loved me, but they did not coddle me. 

Each generation's parents are different, and I understand that the world is not as safe as it once was. Are today's parents craving more time with their children than previous generations? Do children want to be with their parents instead of friends? Are these the same parents who say their child is their best friend?

Raising children today feels both foreign and refreshing in some ways. The connection between parents and children feels different than my childhood. Yet, I can hear the hum of the parental helicopter whenever I am at a function with children. I have recently read conflicting articles, some advocating that closeness is beneficial, while others argue that today's parents are overprotective and indulgent.

I understand that, as a parent, you want more time with your children; I did, too! I also realized that friends are crucial, and parents can too easily become chauffeurs, chefs, and bankers. Quality time with my kids was often spent in the car, driving to friends' houses, attending sports, and going to parties. Some parents call it window time; regardless, I had a captive audience. It was an excellent opportunity for me to discuss important things one-on-one. 

As I approach seventy, I ponder how many summers I have left. How much time will I get with my children and grandchildren? The answer is the great unknown, but the question, "How many summers do I have left?" gave me pause. When our children were babies, we cherished our eighteen summers without thinking about how many we had left. And now, I fully appreciate the significance of savoring eighteen more summers.

Perspective is everything, and at every stage of life, we often focus on what lies ahead instead of living in the present. Appreciate the summer for what it is, not what you imagined it should look like or how much time you spend with your children. Find joy in your small moments with them, watching them play in the pool or dangle from the monkey bars.  

I take each day as it comes, one at a time; each summer is a blessing. I'm not counting. Are you?

Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…