The Show Ups
“ We are a family of Show Up’s. For emergencies, celebrations, and all of life’s beautiful and tragic details, we show up for each other. It’s not even a question of will we be there. We just are.” From: never_empty_nest by Melissa Neeb
When I saw this quote on Instagram, I immediately thought of my family. I grew up with nine siblings, as well as many cousins, aunts, and uncles. Our reunions and parties were legendary. We once considered name tags at Christmas, but nixed the idea. No one wanted to admit they didn’t recognize their sisters’ second husbands' kids. It led to awkward moments; we muddled through, whispering, “Who’s that?”
We always ‘Showed Up.’
We attended many major events: parties, graduations, birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Most of us made it to baby and wedding showers, and rarely missed a big family wedding—except the time my baby brother mixed up our sister's wedding date. After many anxious calls to hospitals, friends, and a one-man search party, he strolled in as if nothing had happened.
And yet, we ‘Showed Up.’
Family reunions were highly anticipated, especially if we hadn’t seen each other in a while. No one ever felt obligated, but no one wanted to miss out either. Our Euchre tournaments, trivia contests, and competitive softball games brought everyone together, and the kids enjoyed planned games and relay races with prizes for all. Some years, we held a talent show or celebrated a milestone birthday, always with plenty of libations to keep it lively.
A fun ‘Show Up.’
The Annual Christmas party was not to be missed. We had our traditions, which always included a family auction for charity, a rousing, fun time at the hotel indoor pool, and great food and drink. Mom always had a “goodie” bag for each of us, which included homemade treats and treasures. The kids had a secret Santa gift exchange, and we all met up the following morning for brunch. There were a few years when some of us couldn’t make it because of commitments or finances, yet there was never any judgment or guilt. And for those flying in or traveling several hours by car, there were a few years when we were snowed in with cancelled flights and treacherous road conditions.
And still we ‘Showed Up.’
We are there for each other through surgeries, sickness, doctors' appointments, medical scares, and cancer. We call or text with news about a clear mammogram, a tiny yet suspicious mole, and a clean bill of health after a physical. We cry together when the diagnosis means surgery, chemo, or radiation. We console when a mammogram needs to be repeated, and discuss how often we need a colonoscopy because of a genetic disposition.
We are the ‘Show Ups.’
Enduring life challenges, relationship or financial troubles, we are there. Through divorces, milestones, moving, and starting over, we connect. We look out for one another. We hold each other's confidences and offer moral support in a non-judgmental zone. We’ve often said we will never be homeless; we have built-in best friends. We are on the same team.
We continue to ‘Show Up.’
Like wedding vows, we are there for each other in sickness and in health, till death do us part. No questions asked, we are there. We have sat side by side in church pews at funerals, written eulogies, buried our own, and shown up when it was hard to even stand up, emotionally and physically exhausted. We have celebrated the lives of our loved ones by holding on to one another.
We are committed to ‘Showing Up.’
People often ask, "What holds your family together when so many others drift apart?" My first response is “my parents.” They set the example for being a part of a loving, giving, and connected family. More deeply, we’ve experienced the loss of a sibling at a young age, and we all held on a little tighter to each other, acutely aware of life’s fragility.
We ‘Show Up for her.’
Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…