Empty Nesting

It was mid-April when I first spotted the Cooper's Hawk perched on the wrought-iron rack outside the patio door. She was scanning the waterway for food for several minutes, enough time for me to get a quick photo for identification. Within the week, I spotted her and a mate building a nest in a large ponderosa pine. They darted, swooped, then sped by the window, low and sleek. It took time, but soon the nest was large enough to spot from the ground, and the building stopped.

During May, the birds could be seen and heard throughout the neighborhood. Usually, it was one at a time in the early morning or late evening. The deciduous trees filled in around the nest, and I almost forgot about the hawks' home in the tree.  

In early July, as I sat on the back patio, the scene of my first sighting, I heard the distinctive call of the Cooper’s sharp squawk, but smaller. I wondered if this could be a baby? Then, early in the morning on July 7th, I spied the small, dark offspring teetering in the oak tree. She looked unsteady. As she hopped from branch to branch, I feared for her safety. Could this be her first flight? 

Behind the oak, I saw movement in the ponderosa and realized it was another baby flitting and flapping its wings, wobbly on the high branches.
Two baby Cooper’s Hawks trying out their innate skill of leaving the nest!

I felt honored to watch for ten minutes until I lost sight of the adventure. By the end of July, I saw the babies dive and dart about, perch on rooftops, and hone their skills. Now their wings and balance had developed enough to enable them to fly far and wide. 

This experience made me think about the endless circle of empty nesting. All creatures, great and small, go through the rite of seeing children leave home. Teetering along, the youth test their judgment skills. Wobbling back and forth between parents and freedom is the journey towards adulthood. Whether a male baby elephant who leaves mom after twelve years or a sea turtle who never sees his mom, eventually, children fly the coop. 

The first time my husband and I experienced empty nesting, it went as we had anticipated. Our children went away to college, found jobs, made their own home with spouses, and had children. Not everyone has this experience; we did, and we weren't surprised. We were surprised to realize there might be a second empty-nesting.

As many of you have experienced, grandchildren bring a whole new dimension to life. We always expected to be involved in their lives (the grands) as much as our children wanted/needed (sometimes more). Sunday dinners, sleepovers, babysitting whenever asked. That grew to soccer games, school activities, and more sleepovers. (Love having the kids eat breakfast in their jammies!) 

As fate would have it, I was able to enjoy being with one set of sweet babies daily until they started school. What a blessing that was for me! There were still slumber parties (parents need a night out), a few Sunday dinners, and more soccer games. We were called on to stay with the little ones who had grown into tweens and teens but were still too young to be alone overnight. These times were precious, and we were blessed to be involved.

Then along came summer jobs, friends, vacations, and the ultimate - college! My husband and I noticed how difficult it had become to schedule a family dinner. The guest room upstairs became a TV room. The bed was still there, but never used. The newly remodeled bathroom was bright, appointed, and empty.

So here is the surprise - I did not expect to miss them so much. You’ve heard the saying, “Give them roots and wings.”  My grandchildren were growing wings, but the catch is in the roots. I realized it’s not my roots they have, but their parents'. My husband and I had fun with our second brood. We never had to pay for sports; we just went and supported. We gave them all the sweets or chips they asked for, guilt-free. We played many games, let them win until they didn’t need us to, and generally entertained. Not the roots that lead to a happy, successful life.

 So, could this be our second empty nesting? Watching the expanding wings of our grandbabies fly away? Celebrating our progeny’s flight into adulthood? Losing the final ties with our children? 

Not quite yet. Today I will pick up grandson #2 for baseball practice. Tomorrow morning I will have breakfast with and drive #5 to junior high school. On Saturday, my husband and I will happily drive 45 minutes to watch grandson #1 in a soccer game. Then there is an orthodontist appointment on Monday for granddaughter #3. I have to get a card off to granddaughters #1 and #2, college students, with a $20 gift card for a fancy drink! Sundays we anxiously anticipate a call from them, our happy ritual! 

No time for empty anything! Our lives are full!

What do you call a Cooper’s Hawk Grandparent?

Lucky!

Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…