A Pilgrimage to the Future

“At its heart, the journey of each life is a pilgrimage through unforeseen sacred places that enlarge and enrich the soul.” --John O’Donohue

Lately I’ve been thinking about taking a pilgrimage. Not by walking the Santiago Trail. Not by journeying to a religious site. Not even by going on a solitary meditation retreat. Actually, I’m thinking about taking a pilgrimage to the present moment. You might ask, what is that?

Let me explain. I am retired. I live a comfortable life. I have friends and activities that keep me busy. I am happily married and am gifted with loving relationships with my children and grandchildren. Some might say, including myself, that I am truly blessed and that my present moment is pretty darn great.

But inside, I struggle. In a life with so little to stress about, I often feel anxious. I worry too much (just ask my grown children). I feel bad when I’m not “productive,” and I am often too busy to enjoy and be grateful for the life that I have. What is wrong with me?! How can I ease into the 4 th quarter of my life, truly appreciating every precious moment I have been gifted with instead of worrying about a future that isn’t here yet…and truthfully, may never come? How can I free myself of the stress and anxiety that is largely a figment of my imagination?

So today, I’m setting out.

On a journey.

To a specific destination.

Close to home but far away from where I stand now.

I am traveling to

the Right Now,

to the Present Moment.

I will leave behind the

usual essentials of my life:

The need to control (people and situations).

Worry (about all of those many things I can’t control (like the future).

Nonacceptance (of the reality of life).

Fear (of physical and emotional pain).

Self-judgement.

Instead, I will pack

Hope.

And joy.

Acceptance.

Gratitude.

And self-love.

Hmm…this second backpack

Seems so much lighter

And easier to carry.

My map is ready.

I will try to keep coming back to the present moment as

I read and digest

other women’s wisdom.

It is a commitment to learn and grow.

With daily journaling as I try to put into practice

what I am learning.

There is not a set path for this pilgrimage.

I will forge my own way.

I will learn and grow as I go.

Willingly facing the hardships and difficulties I encounter,

And starting today,

as I travel,

I will work on, and strive to

Be Here Now.

Bit by bit, that’s all she wrote…